I let September slide by without creating in my nature journal
Here it is, one week into October and I didn’t draw or paint anything in my nature journal for September. I kept up with the daily temps and weather on the phenology wheel, but paint never touched the page.
I made note of a few things I noticed during the previous month. The box turtle Ellie found, the woolly worms, and the occasional colorful leaf on the ground.
But I had zero desire or interest in drawing or painting any of it.
I’ve been creating in the journal for eight consecutive months. I’ve enjoyed it and am pleased with the results. So why this month? Why now? Where and what is this resistance?
When I was a kid, school started after Labor Day, in September. Retailers bombarded the airwaves and newspapers with ads full of fall fashions. Sweaters, boots, scarves, hats. And in August, we would buy these things.
And on the first day of school, we would show up in our new cool weather clothing, only to shed most of it by noon and wear our disappointment the rest of the day instead.
Summer was over, the pools closed, stuck indoors without air conditioning, yet the heat remained, taunting us with memories of loose clothing, bare feet, and being outdoors. September seemed to be the longest month. Waiting for everything. The bell to ring, the leaves to turn, the cooler weather.
When I finished August’s journal and narrative on the 30th, I think I reverted to that place of expectancy I carried in my youth.
Days passed and everything still looked the same as August. The trees all still green. The air still muggy. Gnats and flies and mosquitos, still bugging me. Grass still growing tall.
Why was I letting this disappointment derail me from the joy I feel when I draw and paint and write? I expected things to change so September wouldn’t be a twin to August on the page. And they didn’t. So I didn’t.
Last month was a reminder to keep expectations real and to look for the little things that ARE different. That HAVE changed. To notice and to create without expectation. To enjoy the process and appreciate the transition.
It’ll get done when it gets done. 😊